In the Commonlands…
Gemima Gearshifter hated venturing into the Commonlands, but this trip was necessary. As part of her research into the decay of autonomic floogisterons, she needed to sample some of the soil in which they were found. Floogisterons were sometimes used as substitutes for grease, making it imperative that she understand how long it took them to wear out.
"Ooh," she exclaimed happily, "I can't believe my luck! An entire colony of…"
"Hello, pretty gnome lady!"
"Go away," Gemima's excitement vanished as quickly as it had risen. Stinky had found her. Again.
"Stinky bring you flowers!" And sure enough, the lovelorn troll thrust a bouquet of bedraggled weeds beneath her nose, inciting an allergic reaction.
"Stinky," she said, backing away slowly, handkerchief to her nose, "I do not like flowers. I do not like plants. And I most certainly do not like you."
The troll tilted his head to the side, perplexed. "Stinky bring you flowers, pets and candy. What not to like?"
Gemima ticked off the reasons on her fingers for him. Again. "Let's count, shall we? One: I am allergic to flowers. Two: you brought me a ratonga; she wasn't a pet. Three: whatever was in that candy wriggled; I'm not sure it was edible."
He gazed at her in awe. "Gnome lady can count to five!"
With a sigh and a sneeze, Gemima turned away and began foraging for floogisterons. There was just no getting through to this lunkhead. For the rest of the afternoon, Stinky trailed after her while she worked. At least his presence kept away the other dangerous beasts in the area.
Stinky chewed the heads off the small bats he'd brought along with them for lunch; Gemima wouldn't touch them. How could he make her see how much he cared for her…unless…
Nearly choking on the last bat head, Stinky remembered something he had overheard some folks in Freeport say: that the goddess Erollisi had left behind a way to create a love potion using magical hearts. Glancing at Gemima, Stinky resolved that he would make her love him, even if he had to cheat to do it.
Stinky Sideswiper says, "Violence red, pansies, too..Hm. That sounds stupid."
Stinky Sideswiper says, "Stinky's love like red, red rose! Petals like blisters popped at end of the day!"
Stinky Sideswiper says, "How does Stinky love thee? Stinky cannot count the ways!"
You say, "Hail, Stinky Sideswiper"
""One I love...two I love...three I love I think..." Hey! You count past five? Stinky need help! Stinky only count to five! Even with extra hands Stinky gots from rats!"
You say to Stinky Sideswiper,"What's love got to do with counting?"
"Need lots to do with counting...Stinky writing loooooove poem to special friend! She smart, lots of brains...inside head, not in belt pouch like Stinky thought...she said only go out with poet. Stinky write poem...she hate poem, says only go out with mad magician! Stinky will be mad magician poet ! Write counting poem and give girl Erollisi looooooove potion!"
You say to Stinky Sideswiper,"You mean a mathematician?"
"Mad magicians count...stars in sky, birds in hand. Count more than five. Erollisi's gods from old times, count many years ago. They make poets. Little gnome girl, she likes poets. Stinky thinks to hisself, "Stinky -- you need Erollisi's help. Where to find it?" And then Stinky thinks to hisself, "Self! The magical hearts!""
You say to Stinky Sideswiper,"What magical hearts?"
"The MAGICAL hearts, silly! Use Eyes of Erollisi, got from traveling merchant man, to see them. Stinky sad; they not really tasty eyes. You like eyes? I likes to pop them in my teeth. POP! Ha! So sad, they not real eyes."
You say to Stinky Sideswiper,"Uh...you were telling me about the magical hearts?"
"Magical hearts put out by Erollisi twins. Old gods, they is. They put out hearts to help folk like Stinky make loooooove potion! More hearts, stronger potion! Lots of loooooove around! Magic hearts give true heart's desire! Stinky desires to count like mad magician and write love poem to gnome. Needs many magic hearts! Only...they not real hearts. Stinky sad..."
You say to Stinky Sideswiper,"So ANYway, Stinky, what is it you need me to do?"
"Yay! With Erollisi looooove potion, Stinky be mad magician poet! Collect hearts for Stinky! Use Eyes of Erollisi -- not their real eyes -- to see hearts! Not real hearts, either -- so sad; hearts tasty."
You say to Stinky Sideswiper,"Where do I go from here?"
"Go, go, Commonlands! Get magic hearts fast and come back to Stinky! Hearts not last very long. Unless pickled."
You say, "Hail, Stinky Sideswiper"
"Even without Eyes of Erollisi, Stinky see you not working hard! Need hearts to make looooooove potion! Go or Stinky take your heart instead!"
"Stinky knows you have them! How many? We can counts them...to FIVE!"
You say to Stinky Sideswiper,"I've got more than five."
"Stinky counting hearts...one....two...three...nine...five....wow! You gots FIVE! Stinky show you how many fives you gots. Yay!"
You say to Stinky Sideswiper,"Uh, that was a little bit more than five. I think."
"Now Stinky write counting poem like mad magician! Yay! Little gnome girl will fall in looooove with Stinky 'cause he gots this loooooove potion, full of hearts! Too bad they not pickled. Anyway, you can come help me again if you want. Yay!"
You say to Stinky Sideswiper,"Good luck with your poem."
Meanwhile, back in Antonica…
"You want how many of these rocks again?"
"Fifty!"
"Hwal…" Goldie's voice trailed off as she stood there watching him shift stones around. He was so strong, picking up the rocks she brought to him and hurling them into a bin like they were feathers. Beneath his thick, dark eyebrows, his eyes glittered like gems. And his voice! Goldie could stand there and listen to him talk all day long!
"All right," Goldie said, picking up her rucksack. "I'll be back!"
"Bring more than one at a time, lass!" Hwal grumbled. "You'll tire yourself out, running back and forth with just the one."
As she hurried off, Goldie's heart thrilled. "He cares about me! He must, to worry about me getting tired. The lamb!"
Yet, as she brought out her pick and began to mine in the nearby hills, she wondered: when would he ever come out and ask her to share an ale in town? Was he already married? No…he never spoke of his family. Like most dwarves, Hwal was reticent about more delicate subjects. She would have to be patient.
"I've been bringing him one rock a day for several weeks now," thought Goldie. "How much longer must I be patient? If only…"
Suddenly she dropped her pick, remembering a tale her mother had told her long ago. Erollisi Marr, who had watched over those in love in days past, had left behind the way to find true love. If she unlocked the spell to see the magical essences, she could…well, encourage…Hwal to be more forthcoming.
"That's exactly what I'll do!" Goldie cried, grabbing her pick and running back toward Qeynos. If only she didn't get so out of breath while running these days! Still, any breathlessness was worthwhile, if only Hwal would fall in love with her.
Goldie Hammerfall says, ""My true love Hwal's my heart..." I mean...that is...oh, dear!"
Goldie Hammerfall says, ""A book of verse...a bowl of wurst..." Hmm. I like the sound of that one."
You say, "Hail, Goldie Hammerfall"
Goldie Hammerfall says to you,""He loves me...he loves me...he..." Oh! Hello there! I was just thinking about someone."
You say to Goldie Hammerfall,"Preparing for Erollisi Day?"
Goldie Hammerfall says to you,"Yes, true enough! Though it'll be a sad one for me. I love him, you see, but he doesn't love me! I need to gather more magical hearts to make my love inducement charm even stronger."
You say to Goldie Hammerfall,"What magical hearts?"
Goldie Hammerfall says to you,"Before the gods retreated, the Erollisi twins wanted to ensure that romance would remain alive here in Norrath. They sowed magical hearts into the ground so that someone who knew the secret of the Eyes of Erollisi could later find them."
You say to Goldie Hammerfall,"And you know this secret?"
Goldie Hammerfall says to you,"Through trial and error, yes, I've found the secret to this spell. However, I'm not quick enough to gather enough of the hearts to make a potion strong enough to distract Hwal..I mean, the man I love...from his work for more than a minute or two."
You say to Goldie Hammerfall,"So you need folks to help you harvest these magic hearts?"
Goldie Hammerfall says to you,"I certainly do. I've tried a couple of times on my own, but I'm too slow. Haven't had a big success yet, I must say. Though...my cat sure seems a lot more affectionate. And none of my houseplants have died since I started testing these potions."
You say to Goldie Hammerfall,"I'd be happy to help you."
Goldie Hammerfall says to you,"Thank you! Hwal...I mean, the man I love...could use a little nudge to notice me. I'll give you an enchantment to see the magical hearts left by the Erollisi twins to encourage romance. Once I have enough, I'll make an irresistible love potion!"
You say to Goldie Hammerfall,"Where do I need to gather the hearts?"
Goldie Hammerfall says to you,"You'll find the hearts in Antonica, my friend! There are ever so many of them, you won't have any problem finding them at all. But hurry...the spell won't last long!"
You say to Goldie Hammerfall,"I'll be quick about it."
You say, "Hail, Goldie Hammerfall"
Goldie Hammerfall says to you,"You've got the hearts! Let me see, how many have you got there? That's quite a few; it'll help me along with my potion very nicely!"
You say to Goldie Hammerfall,"It was good exercise."
Goldie Hammerfall says to you,"I really appreciate your help! Hw...he'll be sure to notice me now! Though...it probably wouldn't hurt for me to have even more of these magical hearts, so I can keep on brewing the love potion. You're welcome to help out again, anytime!"
It's time to spread the love, Norrath; Erollisi Day is upon us! Speak with Stinky in the Commonlands or Goldie in Antonica to show the fullness of your heart. You may be tasked with finding hearts among the dangers of Norrath. Like love, these items are hard to find. Make sure your setting for Particle Quality is greater than Minimal, or love will surely escape you.